Everything about William Archibald Spooner totally explained
William Archibald Spooner (
July 22,
1844–
August 29,
1930) was a famous
Oxford don after whom is named a linguistic phenomenon,
Spoonerism.
Biography
Spooner was educated at
Oswestry School and
New College, Oxford, where he was the first non-
Wykehamist to become an
undergraduate. He was ordained deacon in the
Church of England in
1872 and priest in
1875.
He remained at
New College for more than sixty years, serving as
Fellow (
1867), Lecturer (
1868), Tutor (
1869),
Dean (
1876–
1889), and
Warden (
1903–
1930). He lectured on
ancient history,
divinity, and
philosophy (especially on
Aristotle's ethics).
Spooner has been described as, "an
albino, small, with a pink face, poor eyesight, and a head too large for his body", and, "His reputation was that of a genial, kindly, hospitable man."
In the opinion of
Roy Harrod, William Spooner exceeded all the heads of
Oxford and
Cambridge colleges he'd known "having regard to his scholarship, devotion to duty, and wisdom."
Spoonerisms
Spooner has become famous for his (real or alleged) "
Spoonerisms",
plays on words in which corresponding
consonants,
vowels, or
morphemes are switched. Few of his own Spoonerisms, if any, were deliberate, and many of those attributed to him are apocryphal (
The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations (3rd edition, 1979) lists only one substantiated Spoonerism - "The weight of rages will press hard upon the employer"). Spooner himself hated the reputation gained for getting his words muddled.
Some of the more famous quotations attributed to Spooner include:
- "The Lord is a shoving leopard", or "Come into the arms of the shoving leopard" (Loving shepherd)
- "It is kisstomary to cuss the bride" (...customary to kiss the bride)
- "Mardon me padam, this pie is occupewed. Can I sew you to another sheet?" (Pardon me, madam, this pew is occupied. Can I show you to another seat?)
- "You have hissed all my mystery lectures, and were caught fighting a liar in the quad. Having tasted two worms, you'll leave by the next town drain" (You have missed all my history lectures, and were caught lighting a fire in the quad. Having wasted two terms, you'll leave by the next down train)
- He supposedly remarked to one lady, during a college reception, "You'll soon be had as a matter of course" (You'll soon be mad as a Hatter of course)
- "Let us raise our glasses to the queer old Dean" (...dear old Queen)
- "We'll have the hags flung out" (...flags hung out)
- "a half-warmed fish" (A half-formed wish)
- "Is the bean dizzy?" (Is the Dean busy?)
- "Go and shake a tower" (Go and take a shower)
- "a well-boiled icicle" (A well-oiled bicycle)
After the concept of Spoonerisms became known, Spooner once denounced a crowd that had gathered to hear him speak by saying, "You haven't come for my lecture, you just want to hear one of those...things."
Spooner is supposed to have committed other absent-minded gaffes. He was said to have invited a
don to
tea, "to welcome our new
archaeology Fellow". "But, sir," the man replied, "I
am the new archaeology Fellow". "Never mind," Spooner said, "Come all the same".
One recorded incident had Spooner write a note asking for a fellow lecturer at New College to see him immediately about a matter. The note had a
postscript informing the lecturer that the matter had been resolved and he no longer needed to see him.
Another story tells of Spooner preaching a sermon about St. Paul, but substituted the name
Aristotle for St. Paul. When he finished, he came down from the pulpit, paused, went back up, and told his bewildered congregation, "Did I say Aristotle? I meant St. Paul." Some versions of this story have Spooner substituting Aristotle for
Aquinas.
In an interview conducted shortly before his death, Spooner said that he could only remember specifically one of his misquotes: when he introduced the hymn "Kinkering Congs Their Titles Take" instead of "Conquering Kings Their Titles Take." His attitude towards his unintentional fame softened in his final years, even granting the occasional reprint for humor's sake, regardless of validity.
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